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My name is Amy Landino and I'm an author, influencer and keynote speaker.
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Confidence is a skill that you build and develop over time. It takes work, practice, and the courage to take chances that will allow you to prove yourself. But, like any goal, there are some habits you may not even notice you’re practicing that can hold you back from reaching success.
Trying to build your confidence? Ditch these 5 habits so you can break through the self-doubt and achieve your goals!
Confidence can never be found when you feel like you need to apologize for everything you do. Constant over-apologizing wears out the real meaning of word ‘sorry,’ and makes you feel like you’re the one in the wrong. Even when you’re not!
Ask yourself: how often do you apologize for the things you haven’t actually done wrong? We say ‘sorry’ when stepping out of the way in the coffee shop line, when we reply to a text a little later than usual, when we take time for ourselves instead of giving it away to others. For little things that somehow have the capacity to make us feel majorly guilty.
None of these things are actually wrong. They just make you feel insecure because they ask that you have confidence in your decisions, yourself, and your life. Build confidence by standing your ground. Not by being rude, of course (if you’re in the way at the coffee shop, a step to the side never hurt anyone.) But not everything requires a ‘sorry’. You are allowed to take up space in this world without apology or excuse.
We all love to go for a scroll every once in a while, but over-scrolling social media can take a major toll on your confidence. If you find yourself glued to your phone, ask yourself: ‘what kind of content am I consuming?’
Are you following accounts that make you feel bad about yourself? Do you often compare your life to the picture-perfect newsfeed you’re scrolling through? Spending an abundance of time on social media leads to comparison, whether we recognize it in ourselves or not. Everyone puts their best foot forward on IG, and it’s bound to make the normal parts of your day feel a little lack-luster.
If you’re feeling down on yourself, try stepping away from social media for a bit. Take a full week detox or just put the phone away for the evening. Not only is it a relief for the strain on your eyes — you’ll have so much more time for more important things that actually benefit you and your confidence.
Now I’m not telling you when you should smile. I hate when someone tells me to smile like they think they know what I should feel or how I should look to the world.
I’ve noticed that my confidence tends to grow when I share it with the people around me. Sometimes I feel good, like I’m in my element and I’m rocking it, but I keep that positivity inside because I’m focused or just don’t think about it.
I’ve started making sure to smile when I’m doing something that makes me happy. It feels good to share that positivity with the people around me and it helps me to recognize the times where I’m crushing it at what I do. When I look back on the things I’ve done, I always feel a little more confident when I see the joy on my face 🙂
Sometimes excuses can look a lot like justifications. Justifying your behavior, explaining yourself, and offering up reasons when none were asked for can negatively impact your confidence levels. Instead of building confidence in your actions, you’re strengthening the habit of explaining yourself.
Like over-apologizing, the need to explain yourself prevents you from creating that necessary mental strength and it leads you to question yourself. Next time you feel the need to explain your life away, reassess where that need is really coming from. Does the other person involved need this explanation, or are you doing it to make yourself feel better?
We often allow ourselves to believe that selflessness is the only acceptable way to interact with the people around us. We feel that in order to be valuable, we must give and give until there’s nothing left to offer. Your value, however, does not come from the things others ask of you.
It’s okay to take back your time. It’s okay to say ‘no’ or delegate a task to someone else. You don’t have to give everything in yourself only to be left with no time, no energy, and no motivation. Build confidence by saying ‘no’ when you need to and get comfortable being a little selfish. You know what they say — you gotta put your mask on first before you can help the people around you.
QOTD: Which of these habits will you tackle this week?
Amy Landino is the Director & Founder of GATLUW House. A bestselling author and the award-winning host of AmyTV, Amy is the World’s #1 Productive Lifestyle & Success Coach.
For tips and updates follow me on Insta @schmittastic